they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
