So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
