chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
ttyl tear gas
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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