i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
