I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize