Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
