You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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