I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
