D3 body, D1 cock
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
