Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
