thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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