So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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