I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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