I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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