Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize