so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
