i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
