someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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