Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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