I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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