do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
