If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
