I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize