my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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