Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
