the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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