At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
