Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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