I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
