There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
