You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Randomize
