I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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