Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
