why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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