Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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