i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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