So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
