What did we do last night that was yellow?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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