Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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