do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
