Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
