I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
