need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
