I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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