Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Me. At least after what I've been through.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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