So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
