Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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