Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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