I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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