South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
