afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
