Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
