Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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