Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
