how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
