Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
