you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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