So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
