He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My cat gives me a boner
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
