Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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