Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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